Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
