MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
