pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
