That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
