There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
