I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
