yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
