I will die if light touches me.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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