Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you didnt know i had herpes?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
