i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
