i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
