I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
