Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he puts the penis in happiness.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
