Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
