Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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