Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Vodka?
Forever.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
