so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
