you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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