My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
my poor anus
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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