So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
