Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
