i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
