You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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