Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
