I think my vagina is haunted
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
