I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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