oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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