Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
