he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
this boner is exhausting
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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