im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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