no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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