it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
