she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This is not my ceiling
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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