Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Send help, water and tortillas.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
