I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
