You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
