my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
