I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
