You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
