I think i peed on brittanys purse
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
