I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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