You're completely useless in the revolution.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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