I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
