drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
