I didn't shave. On purpose
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
