Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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