Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
bring money and cleavage
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
