i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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