I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
