You just made me feel so damn special
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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