I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
